RAY'S REPORTS

In multiple different phases, eras, cities, and decades of my life, it was told to me from older people, teachers, mentors, friends, and family in so many words that with each year I get older, I will be getting a new license that expands my ability to not give a fuck.

Of course I tell them that I was already born with that license and they reiterate that no, this is a new license, hinting at a next level unlock or something. It leads to the assumption that life gets easier, but it doesn’t. Well that’s not how I would say it anyways.

What I think happens is that you get new antennae every year. Health for example. Every year, it becomes more frequent that someone you know dies. You come to realize how easy it is to die. This re-frame alone activates an almost daily re-budgeting of time and space.

Thus, it is not so much about not giving a fuck and more about being frugal with how you spend your attention.

My co-worker told me how he got pulled over for speeding last week. They said he was going 90 mph, he popped the hood and argued to the cops that his old car can’t go that fast. LOL. He plans to fight this one. Just like we have to plan to fight for our own attention.